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Yes, the query is one in every of value, weighed against the ache and frustration of unrequited love. Like Matt mentioned, he MAY be simply mates with the girl he loves, nevertheless it takes energy away from finding someone new. Once we love somebody, they tend to be on our minds quite a bit, and this emotional energy will not be very productive, IMHO.
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Having lived many years in a man’s body, I can let you know it’s fascinating to have witnessed my very own expertise of what felt like love for a woman primarily vanish in the afterglow of a powerful orgasm. It’s astonishing – and disturbing – simply how quick intercourse can change a male thoughts from the ocean-deep loving” setting to the kiddie-pool shallow” one.
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I get that mostly you might be arguing that males should be taught to manage their emotions and sexual urges positively, and I agree with that (and I really like your publish on Breathing Into it; jogs my memory of some of my early meditation courses). I additionally agree that our tradition has not executed many favors in teaching males tips on how to deal with those urges. However, in your closing arguments, assuming that somebody who’s mature will … enjoy their own erections with out always having to do one thing with them,” does an injustice to those that must learn this publish and will never be absolutely comfy with some features of themselves. I’m somewhat concerned that someone who reads those phrases and has that false expectation of themselves will revert to previous methods of pondering and actions when such outcomes do not happen.
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I totally disagree with you, and i think your stance is a form of virtue signalling or posing. The good friend zone is miserable. I am in the pal zone presently with a girl I am probably in love with, and it is not a wholesome scenario. She has access to my sources and assistance, while her rotten bf swoops in to get sex whenever he feels the urge, and does nothing to help her.